Finances

Sometimes I take a look at all of my families bills and wonder how our lives would be different if we spend our money on different things and did so wisely. We have two car loans that are more than $800 all together per month and I just imagine what we could do with that money. I mean seriously. We would have more money for groceries and clothes. It's funny to see what we over all trade things for. It is great that we have two reliable vehicles but I do wish we had more money and didn't have to worry about debt so much. I just claimed bankruptcy and don't plan on doing it again. I don't want anymore high credit card bills and I really want to put my money to good use. We don't need two vehicles but in the future we will. It is better to pay for them now and not worry about it when we move down south where it's more expensive to live. After the cars are paid off, we will be able to buy a house, which will be great. We need to stop trading in our vehicles and I'm hoping that my fiances truck will be the last vehicle change for at least 10 years. I want us to have a good future and not have to worry about money. The economy is doing really bad right now but normally we always find a way to make it through anything. I'm pretty positive but I do have my moments when I think that it's just over and there is no up. I guess I should just get use to having hard times cause life is full of them. I just feel like things could be so much better.

Companies

Don't you ever get frustrated with bad service that you are paying for or bad service from a representative over the phone? I think At&t is probably the worst company ever. Every month I was their customer, there was a problem at least once. I was out of the internet for two weeks in one month! And I have online school. Now I switched to suddenlink and have no problems with the service that I am paying for. But now I just wanted to add more channels which is only supposed to be an extra $15 (so I was told), and now they say oh no it's $35. I already cancelled my blockbuster access account and now I have to reactivate it. This is such a pain! The lady on the phone didn't offer a solution or an appology, she just tried to sell me a phone service. RRR...

I Need Time

I think that I want to get away for a while. Maybe a couple days or maybe a week. Whether it's going to San Francisco with friends or going to my grandma's in Arkansas. I want some time to think about my relationship and the way I've been feeling lately. I know that I love him, but I also know that I refuse to continue feeling the way I do. I don't want to watch him flirt with other girls, and I don't want to feel like I'm the only one that knows he's doing it. I don't want to feel stupid for telling him and I also don't want to feel like I might as well not tell him what's bugging me because he's just going to do it again. I don't want Alayna to be the only reason why I stay with him. I don't want to regret my life with him and I don't want to feel unappreciated. I love him, I show him respect, I never flirt with other guys, and I expect him to do the same for me. Plus, I shouldn't have to state this to him. He should know this on his own. I don't want him to think that it's okay because I will never leave him. He needs to know that I will leave if he doesn't treat me right.

Trust

How would you be able to tell if the one you love really loves you? How are you supposed to know that when they flirt with other girls that they are only thinking of being with you? How can you assure yourself that they are confident in their decision of being with you, when they constantly flirt with their past partner right in front of you? How are you supposed to know that they don't want to go back to them and regret the decision of choosing you over them? How can you trust them at all when all they have ever lied about is that person? Why should you stay with the one you love when you are so unsure of their feelings at certain times even when they try to validate them? Why do I continue writing questions when the first one pretty much says it all? How will I ever know?

The Love of a Mother

There are different types of love, the love of a friend, the love of a partner, but the love for your children is the best of them all. You will never know how much you could possibly love someone until you have a child. The realization of knowing you would do anything for that person is amazing. It overcomes you instantly at the birth of your child, and it is unbelievably stong and overcoming. The feelings can take you over instantly when something happens to your child. Just looking at them when they sleep brings a smile to your face. Thinking about them being hurt causes you to cry. It's truely amazing what motherly love can do. You will never know love until it happens to you.

Debt

I am only twenty-three years old and have already filed bankruptcy. Thinking back on what I spent my credit limits on, I simply cannot remember. Credit cards seem simple enough and its hard to believe that you can become an addict. All it takes is one swipe and a signiture, then what ever it is you desire can be yours. My credit card spending would come in spurts. Use a credit card multiple times until you recieve your credit card statement. You may stop spending for some time, but as soon as you forget why you stopped... It starts all over again, and will continue until the limit has been reached. What now. You could get another and run that up too, or be responsible and pay it off.
Sometimes you will be irresponsible with either decision you make. If you decide to pay it off, most likely you will pay a few hundred and run it up to the limit again. This time, you really need to pay it off. You agree with yourself, that you will stop using it. Now that your payment may be seventy dollars a month on that card, you may have a little amount of spending money. But then, you get in an accident... You were at fault, and oh no... You need to pay the thousand dollar deductible before your vehicle gets fixed. What now? You need an extra thousand dollars that you may have on the credit card ready to use, or you need to get a new one. You don't save money, because if you did, you would have the money to buy the things that you are charging on the credit card.
What if you wanted to start saving? The money that you could save is being spent on your monthly bill to pay your credit card. If you started out by saving, this may not have happened. If you only charged the credit card for things that where really important, like new tires when yours are completely bare or dental work when you are getting a constant migrane just from the pain, maybe you would be in control of your spending. It is crutial to realize that a credit card should only be used when you really need it. Don't use it for cute clothes that you will only wear two times, the sunglasses that you've been wanting, or the vacation of your dreams. When you use your credit card, set a date that you WILL pay that purchase back by. Put a small paper in your wallet with a list of things that you want to achieve in the next five years. Everytime you reach for that credit card, look at the list and ask yourself if this purchase will help you get closer to your goals... Most likely, the answer will be no.
It takes strength to overcome the voice inside your head that says, just do it this once. Realize your problem and come up with ways to over come it. You have to want to change, and try to improve yourself. But it is possible and it can happen.